A study made on a thousand young couples, with a goal to determine which system of education apply modern parents, showed that the majority of parents are served by material incentives in the education of their children. To express their love and care to their kids, parents usually by them a gift, and if they want to punish them, they prohibit them to use some stuff.
On the other side, if parents want to teach their kid some rules and duties, almost every time use money or a promise that they can use a certain device. If the kid had set its bed – it will get an ice cream. If the kid has good grades – it will get a cell phone at the half of the school year. If it helps with arranging and cleaning of the house – it will get new jeans.
At first glance, it looks like everything is all right. On one side, the kid is learning that the gifts and money in his life don’t come just like that, and on the other side, the kid has constant stimulation to become even better than it was before.
But the research showed that the material gifts doesn’t make the kids happy. The kids who have that kind of treatment in their childhood, learn to evaluate others and themselves on the basis of the material riches they have. If you pay your kid for its exemplary behavior, the kid on a subconscious level, and quite unconsciously, will begin to behave badly towards those children who have no toys as it has.
That explains a lot, doesn’t it? Did you ever questioned why the students from lower classes are making fun of the kids who didn’t have, for example a phone? Or why students are bullying those weaker than themselves by taking away their money or toys?
There is only one way to help your kid to build up in a happy and fulfilled person, and that is to spend more quality time with it. And instead of material gifts, often show your kid some new experiences and impressions.
Next time, when your kid will bring an A of math, or maybe set up its bed in the morning, don’t buy it a gift, don’t make that mistake. Just take it to the nearest park. Or maybe watch its favorite movie together. It will be more fun and it will make your relationship stronger than ever. The material reward is not the way to show your love to the kid.
You are not making them a favor, but on a contrary you are making them a big problem when they are going to be adults. They will believe that the success in life is established by the quality of material goods. Instead of gifts, give your kids some experiences and happiness they will never forget. Material goods and happiness can never be equal, so try to give them a chance to gain more and good experiences in their lives.